Trust

Life has been pretty hectic! But I have a reason to rejoice!

Going through competitions and being nervous is part of life. It's what strengthens a person and makes them less vulnerable. I recently, just a few hours ago, experienced nervousness and worry.

I just had a piano and scripture recitation competition. Well the competition isn't that competitive becasue it's between churches and it's just to gain experience. Well that's my point of view. I went to the competition thinking that I wouldn't win because everyone else would surely beat me, musically wise. And the scripture recitation was just another way to force myself to memorize passages. I thought that since i'm not going to win i'll just relax a bit.

However, my heart thought differently. Beforethe piano competition, I was against these little kids (aged 10-12). It's pretty embarrassing. I felt pressured because I couldn't lose to them. My piano teach, however because of God's grace, told me to let it go. "So what if you're against these small kids?" I tried to let the pressure dissipate but honestly, only half of it left. During the competition, I was VERY nervous. My heart was pounding hard and it hurts! I was one of the last ones to perform but it was all God's plan.

I heard the first girl, she was very musical and her tones were excellent. (If you don't know what i'm talking about well... she's a very telented pianist). Everyone else also were extremely talented and they played sooo well. Right before my turn, God nudged me and told me to play for Him only and no one else. Suddenly all the pressure pressing on me disappeared! It was so refreshing. Then I went up to perform, I missed a few notes, but deep inside of me, no pressure was felt and I had the inner peace God promised!

The end result was that got 2nd place! I was SHOCKED!! God truly blessed me! I was jumping around and REJOICING!!

Praise the Lord!

God is GOOD, all the times!

Where's sleep?

Life at School

This week was pretty hectic, like all other weeks. School has been getting a lot tougher especially taking a grade 12 math course. The month of April was crazy, beyong all imagination. For 3 weeks straight, sleeping at 2 was the only way to finish all the piles of homework. Teachers constantly gave homework. There were also band concerts, where I had to miss classes and I had to catch up to everyone. This week, april 18-22 was the most hectic week because I had to stay pretty late for our concerts which lasted for about 4 hours. Everyone at band stayed up until minimum 11:00 p.m. The next morning, many band members, including me, were exhausted and sleep deprived. Many homeworks stayed undone, many projects left unfinished. Finally the week has ended, but another one is slowly approaching with its surprises.

Life Inside of Me

Despite being extremely tired physically, I wasn't very tired mentally. Do you know the cause? Well it's because God has given the peace and strength to endure all those trials and exhaustion. The inner peace is beyong knowledge, it cannot be described because it is such a deep feeling inside of me. Without peace, I wouldn't have survived so long. God provided me with strength and discipline to force myself to work and stay awake during those late nights!

What Can I Do?

You can also ask God for His peace and comforting Hands. If it is His Will, then you will receive. But be honest to yourself and tell God about all that you're going through. It may be addiction, it may be unhealthy thoughts, it may be struggles and pain. Tell God about it. You might think "oh.. well it feels like in talking to air". But have faith (definition: believing in something or someone you cannot see) because He does listen to whatever we say or even think.

God is ever-present in help of troubles! Be honest to yourself! I encourage you to take the step and tell God. Another advice is talking to your close friends who are understanding and who will help you through your transformation! Believing in God is what it takes. I took the step and my perceptive and life style have changed to make me a better person. I'm not pain-free but I have Someone who can heal me in times of distress!

I may be lacking sleep but I'm not lacking the peace of mind and the joy of living for God!!

Believe!

I'm grateful

People say that they cannot enter this blog. Maybe it's because I haven't posted for almost a month! Wow a month passed already without me knowing. School is becoming hectic, very hectic, extremely hectic. I'm getting overwhelmed with all the school work as well as all the responsibilities I've decided to take. I'm getting the stress from every aspect of my school and extra-curricular activities life.

I'm really thankful for my family! I really have to give ALL my thanks to them. Without them, I wouldn't have survived so far nor would I go anywhere! They support me all the way. It's a wonderful blessing from God because He has truly blessed me with people and relationships that will last forever. The unconditional love He has shown me has truly been reflected in my family life, church life, friends and mentors.

Also, I've suddenly become joyful because I know that it's all from God. He is the one who's giving the strength right now to write this and to share His wonderful love for everyone! Yeah.. everyone!! I'm stressed right now and there's so much workload to finish but I know that God put me here in the first place. His plan of life for me and for everyone is unique and beyong all imagination. He has planted every single person here for a reason. We may not be able to see the big picture, but when we see God, we might all understand in the end!

Also, joy only comes from God. There's a difference between joy and happiness. Joy is truly internal and lasts, unlike happiness where it is the cause of external forces and it only lasts a few days. Joy is when the heart is truly satisfied, inspired by God's greatness and power!

Well I better get to work. Those were my jumbled up thoughts!!

P.S. Thank you EVERYONE for your support! Your little or big actions mean so much to me that i'm truly grateful! Also thank you everyone helping out for Coffee House, CF and Didomi and for supporting me when i need it! THANK YOU!